Expectations are a broad topic, so much so that, when looking at my goals for the year, I find this idea applies to my body fat% goals and track, and so much more. There’s a saying seen I’ve seen frequently in recent past. “To be happy you have to lower your expectations.” This makes perfect sense. Those who want more than they can reasonably expect to have are likely to be depressed and achieve less throughout their life. Someone dreaming of superyacht that will forever be out of their reach can create more misery through the feelings of disappointment and futility, They need to understand, or they’ll be miserable. Alternately, those with an insane amount of resources or power have high expectations of what they should get, aka entitlement, may find it difficult to be content in less than ideal circumstances. Maybe even… economy seating Quelle horror!!, and will likely be miserable themselves. Nothing is great in their world, it’s all been that way, they’re used to it. What a sad, sad, thought.
Lower expectations may make you happier, if only because they’re met. When you receive an ice cream that’s not in a perfect ball? That’s ok you don’t have that expectation of every single scoop. Now you’ve taken your ice cream to the subway that’s dingy and a bit smelly. Ah well, that’s pretty much every subway, no being a little shocked for fun, you knew better. This way is easier to control than working on yourself.
We all have expectations of ourselves, what level of employment we should have, what relationship status applies, including other qualities of self & personalities shall we present. When these fall short of life itself we are miserable in ourselves. Judging ourselves far harsher than the rest in the world(within limits). Though all the paths of pain there lies one small current yelling out, “I’m not good enough!” We learn this as we experience our personal attributes or the reality of the world. Remind yourself that “You weren’t ever going to afford the superyacht, the system isn’t set up like that. Your career is perfectly fine.” When your expectations are low, you may wind up with a life that doesn’t make you happy, sad at the loss of potential.
So we look at realistic expectations. Not so low as to live as a beach bum because you feel you can’t do anything. Not so high as to create an issue even for yourself, living in the world of low self esteem. No, to really figure out what is in your or the potential target’s capacity.” Having big expectations for another only makes to disappoint yourself. Example Time!
I have a child with special needs, as do all 16 other sets of parents at her school. There are three types, those in denial, those who gave up, and those so do their best to keep up with everything. One of the former types was my friend for a little while. Her son had a stroke at age 2, goes to the best therapeutic day school in the state, and shows fewer improvements than she would have liked. So she added tutoring to their afternoons belittling him as he went, “How else would he get better?” Oi
We do our best to keep with the latter form of parenting. “Can we reasonably expect her to do this?” “No?” then don’t force it. She’s had a freakout, was it our fault due to expectations? Yep? bad parent, slap on the hand. We check with the school regularly and do our best to keep our perspectives in check. We expect her to do her best and she fulfills that expectation often. A good, reasonable, expectation. As is ours that we can perform within her limits.
So now we bring this to personal expectations and realistic goals, not those that apply to airplane seating, but those we set for ourselves. This includes our perspective of body image, facial condition, how we speak, our hair how we approach things, and so many more things that we can explore ourselves over quickly. The physical goes along with our diet and exercise it’s good to remember a lot of expectations of self that if we don’t meet them can derail a whole plan. “I missed my workout session, guess I can’t really do it.” Don’t hold yourself to perfection, something I am still working on You will mess it up, expect it, but make sure you’re focused on your realistic goals.
Story Time: I know that I’m a big girl. I am a size 10 at 18.5% body fat. I have big bones and muscle up easily. I have longed for decades to be slim, making my life miserable through mismanaged expectations. This is important stuff in my family; I was never thin enough. Then I got a husband who did not care. In our relationship, my weight has gone from 18.5 – over 35% body fat. 168.5 – 248lbs, and he truly did not care. Each new size was just a new way to enjoy my body. Therefore, without as many family’s expectations running through my head and with a lessening of my own, when I started this the first time it was for ME and diet strict rules, I was 248lbs. I stuck with it for 4 months, losing 80lbs & 17% body fat. I do not expect the same
Current Weight Track: 185.1lbs & 22.9% bfp -.3lbs & +3
I really…. really… miss jelly.